I've learned that fear limits you and your vision. It serves as blinders to what may be just a few steps down the road for you. The journey is valuable, but believing in your talents, your abilities, and your self-worth can empower you to walk down an even brighter path. Transforming fear into freedom how great is that? – Soledad O'Brien
Today is America’s and one of my special best friends birthday!! One of the main purposes of this blog is to grow in sharing my voice. So the letter below is a heartfelt expression of my voice, and heart to my bestfriend.
Happy 30th birthday!! This is such a special day!! It means you have been alive for 3 decades. Which really means you’ve been around long enough to see and know some stuff. We meet in our early 20’s and somehow it feels like the universe entrusted us to each other. The following are 30 ways I am a better person because of the love and light you have shared with me:
1. You challenged me and pushed me away from my self selected island of solitude, safety and self sufficiency.
2. You introduce me to nifty and dope ass music! My love of Kendrick Lamar and Chance the Rapper started with a forward and introduction by you. I still feel teary when I hear summer time friends because you played it for me the morning I moved away. ❤️
3. Your presence in my life brought about several corrective experiences. You broke down a fear and over generalization that I had of white men. Your woke and you take your role in equality seriously! Which leads to 4.
4. Your woke and you consistently are intentional in growing in your awareness and challenging the patriarchy and how privilege works in this world.
5. Your super smart. Like Lisa Simpson smart 🤓 . But also a great teacher. You love learning and are a life long learner. I love intellectually what happens when we put our minds together. It’s like a musical jam session with cognitions.
6. Your loyal, value friendship, family, group cohesion and being connected to those who are close you.
7. Your hilarious 😂😂 and I really cherish the way our humor helped us get through this season of life.
8. Your tech savvy. Clearly I barely know how to work word and am thankful for all the ways your tech savviness has saved me. I.e. Dissertation and when I somehow saved that social psych paper as some web online situation. 😩
9. You taught me, validated and reaffirm that I know some stuff and am an expert. I’m not sure you know how much this really has impacted me through out the years. I still remember the first time you told me I am a great at what we do. And how you pointed out I know a lot about SEM and everything else related to my dissertation. Each of these moments transformed my value and perception of my self. You validated that I’m a scholar and a great one at that. Thank you for these corrective experiences.
10. You unconditionally love me. Even the I might be a little boujee, A show, super picky eater, me 💁🏾👸🏾
11. Your an unapologetic mean girl! And together we are an unstoppable hilarious force 🙋🏾🙋🏻♂️💁🏾💁🏻♂️🤗🤗
12. Your not afraid of my Blackness. You celebrate, and acknowledge the beautifulness of my culture.
13. Your not afraid of my fears and my pain. I know you work hard to understand how my experiences have shaped me.
14. Your a great husband with a wonderful, smart and beautiful wife. Seeing the love you have for each other transformed my perception of what is possible. And allowed me to start considering the growth and vulnerability that it would take me to love someone that way.
15. Your my LGBT ally. And really the only one who deeply accepts this part of me in my life.
16. You helped me to feel more comfortable in being vulnerable. And call me out when I’m not but could be.
17. You acknowledge and validate how difficult it can be for me to be vulnerable and ask for help. You allow me to not have to always be the strong self sufficient Black women.
18. Your human and fallible. And like me we aren’t always the best at showing the not put together parts of ourself. So I’m thankful and appreciate the moments where we aren’t perfect and there’s no expectation that we are.
19. Your a great pet parent with a smart, challenging, soft and hilarious pet child. 😻 Kyle is a special type of thug life kitty and I often think he ended up with the right dad.
20. Fear doesn’t seem to rule your life and because fear feels so prevalent in mine, I’m thankful that you model what a life full of calculated risk looks like.
21. Your a great cook and baker! Like I’m really impressed with your baking skills. That’s a great side hustle self care idea!
22. You remind me how much I’ve grown ever time your remind me how confident and amazing I am. Bc I was not always this confident.
23. You have an amazing kind heart and your super emphatic. Like you have high warmth, mixed with intelligence and high hope. 💯
24. Your resilient, persistent and flexible. The master teacher life can work defeat into people’s lives unless we make active choices to keep fighting, be flexible and keep learning from mistakes. Which is what I see you consistently doing.
25. You have good boundaries and interpersonal savviness but in true social introvert form are still unique and awkward. ❤️
26. You helped me to understand the importance of self care. And I’m thankful because now I love me some self care. We all need treat yo self days (everyday 😎😍)!!
27. Your creative and use a combination of your gifts to better the world. For example tech savviness + empathy = increased access to mental health care.
28. People respect you because your respectable. Your insightful, super aware and still choose to have integrity.
29. You try new things bc your openness (neo) is super high.
30. Sooo… 30 is special! It in someways a continuous hope and challenge. Its also pretty gestalty. Continue being who you are and growing into who you want to be. I’m exciting to see where our 30’s take us.
P.S. Now go turn up! And then treat yourself to a nap!!
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