I've learned that fear limits you and your vision. It serves as blinders to what may be just a few steps down the road for you. The journey is valuable, but believing in your talents, your abilities, and your self-worth can empower you to walk down an even brighter path. Transforming fear into freedom how great is that? – Soledad O'Brien
When I sat down to write this post I thought of the phrase “in my feelings” and laughed a little bit. I’m not hiding from my feelings, they have purpose and meaning. Let see what happens when I ask my feelings about dating. Below is a collection of my feeling/ thoughts related to dating, “getting choose” and reactions to romantic situations or conversations.
1. I am the friend, in my friend group, that feels like people are generally less attracted to.
2. I don’t have the stories of when someone has offered to buy me a drink; because it has never happened.
3. Let me tell you about the time that a guy was interested in me and decided to ask me for my number at some social event,- this never happened.
4.And what about the time I thought this poet was super amazing/attractive and after the event ending watching him swoon over my friend.
5.Or even what about the time when two of my friends spent hours and hours talking about romantic dilemmas of Black Women based on past experiences. But I choose not to share because many of my memories were wrapped in my former low self esteem, and being treated like a sex object.
6. Ah or the time I decided to to join this dating website and had this super nifty woman said “you seem like a great person, but I don’t date bisexual women”.
7. Remember the time that the one significant other took his time engaged me in conversation, set this great ambience and sweetly made love to me- why of course not, because it never happened.
7.And don’t forget the times that I finally understood how wonderfully amazingly awesome I am, but ended up being frustrated that other potential dating partners don’t care or tried to be manipulative.
8.Or when my friends get presents, flowers and other thoughtful gifts and disregarded them. And I received guilt/shame for asking my then significant be thoughtful because it is important to me. Because I was worth it….
9.Ohhh and what about the times I spent crying in my room because, I was surrounded by my friends love and super happy for them but drowning in my own loneliness.
10. And most importantly lets not forget the time that I found peace in being a lone and was reminded by my heart that my seasons of love will happen. The time that I changed my negative perspective on my misfortunes of dating to positive. And the moment I realized this change was one of the best gifts I could haven given to myself. I spoke hope into my romantic life and was forever changed.
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