Creative Rock Storm, Rocking Til The End

I've learned that fear limits you and your vision. It serves as blinders to what may be just a few steps down the road for you. The journey is valuable, but believing in your talents, your abilities, and your self-worth can empower you to walk down an even brighter path. Transforming fear into freedom how great is that? – Soledad O'Brien

The Not So Pretty Side


At 27 I feel like society has created this steep romantic learning curve, because at this age more people are either married, in sometime of long term relationship, or at least dating with the intention of the possibility of something more serious happening. The days of “chilling and watching movies are becoming a little far removed”. And here I am just trying to work on my dissertation proposal :-). Okay, no really I’ve been dating this guy since September and I wish I would have started this post, when we still had walks around campus and talked about health policy issues, held hands while he looked deeply into my eyes and smiled, felt nervous being around me, want to kiss me but was timid in asking, spent quality time with me. Back when he wasn’t sure if I was going to be around, if I would choose to be with him. He use to be so persistent in wanting me around. It was his persistence and his intellect that won me over.

Now we are in sometime of dating situation that is not working out. We are in this place that is static between relationship and friendship. I feel like we give each other pieces of ourselves. He is not sure what he wants us to be, friends or lovers? So he does the bare minimum to make me stay. As for me I’m hopeful that we end up being lovers, because I want it to work, because I believe things can be different, because I am a hopeless romantic, because we could be great together right?

Him:  I feel like we are at the point in a relationship where we would should be doing more, but I feel I haven’t gotten to the place where you are the only one I want to be with.

Me: I feel like I’m not special to you, that I don’t really matter to you.

Me: I need time to figure out what’s best for me.

Him: I don’t have anything to say right now that I haven’t already said.

Him: It is like we keep having the same conversation.

Me: Walks away

Later that night via text

Him: Are you home?

Me: Yes

Him: I’m Sorry

Me: Silence

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This entry was posted on February 15, 2015 by in Life Matters, Matters of the Heart and tagged , , , , , , .
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